Poem: Blameless and shameless life

By Liz Darcy Jones

This is the crux of love

crux of the symbol

heart of nature whether we like it or not

our system’s toxic but when we attribute

blame or shame to each other we contribute

to the rot

Nature’s web gives us our lead

irreverent and shameless

it holds every one blameless!

Still we do not learn and douse ourselves

and shame and blame’s dirty oil

incendiaries which then inflame

our hearts’ already desert soil

Can we appreciate our system’s toxic

and accept each one of us forgets

the one to which we’re born –

begging us to honour all its non-judgemental wild?

will I harden arteries with blame and shame

or be the bloody love which pumps

the heart of every creature, man and child?

This is the type of blood to keep the world alive

this is the blood without which we will not survive.

P.S. Some say we need shame to bring us to our knees in grief…

No. Accept its presence [beat] but make your meeting personal and brief.

Shame is unattended guilt, and guilt – painful prompt to acts of restitution –

guilt calls for gentle understanding, shifts the silt

of pain, regret, self-harm

it asks me (me, alone since others’ lives I do not own)

am I toxifying our system further with my shame and blame

or learning to play clean in nature’s game?
for nature’s game insists not one of us is left out –

and often gives the tiniest player greatest clout!

One thought on “Poem: Blameless and shameless life

  1. some thoughts on the subject, healthy shame in contrast to toxic shame…

    healthy shame says I’ve made a mistake …I’m human, we make mistakes, fess-up, move on.
    whereas internalized toxic shame says I am a mistake… making for denial of mistakes, staying stuck & hiding out in life. being shame-based has degrees of severity.

    toxic internalized shame acquired through such shaming, makes one feeling they are a mistake, ie. contemptible & unworthy as a person. this exists along side the perfectionism paradigm (having to be perfect) & its origin may be in religious & patriarchal hierarchies having come to see this as a means to subjugate & control people for their greedy self benefit.

    in having internalized shame one feels an object of contempt towards ones own self, ie.self-contemptuous.

    talk here from John Bradshaw, author of Healing the Shame that Binds you.


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